I remember one particularly hard day while I was going to Dixie in St. George I drove to the temple and sat in my car. I started praying and everything just started to pour out of me. I said out loud my deepest desires. I talked about wanting to be a wife and a mother. Not just a wife and a mother though, a righteous and awesome wife and mother. I talked about the talents that I wanted to develop, the kind of love that I wanted to experience in my marriage relationship, and my deep desire to just do what is right. I remember pausing for a while to catch my breath. My thoughts turned to Mckay. At this time he had been out on his mission for less than a year. Feeling a little sheepish, I told Heavenly Father that if it was at all possible, I wanted all of these things with Mckay. I wanted Mckay to be the one that I devoted all my time and energy to and to live out the gospel plan with. I knew at that time it was extremely silly of me. Especially since I knew better than most that waiting and loving a missionary is not the healthiest or the best idea, but it was truly what I wanted so I told Heavenly Father.
I don't write this to be mushy, but to simply be a witness that God hears and answers prayers and he always leads you to where you need to be. Even when you make mistakes and when you don't have any clue what you are doing.
I watched my sisters who are 15, 13, and 6 years older than me go through this time of life and navigate their way pretty well. Their lives have been guides to me as I have tried to find my own way. Even with their help I have felt lost much of the time and made many mistakes. Even up to this point in my life I feel there is no explanation of how I got here, but that God led me here.
With all these changes happening in my life so soon I cling to this truth. God hears and answers prayers and always leads you to where you need to be.
