The view from our hammock of our backyard and home.
I am a worrier. I worry about everything. I don't know where it comes from. My mind can just never sit still and be at peace. I have been thinking lately about how little time I take to ponder, meditate, and be still. I'm either sleeping or going a million miles an hour. I used to be really good at it, but it seems with a smartphone I can't just sit there and let myself think, I have to be constantly cramming information into my brain. I know, pitiful. What a life to live. Seriously though. Always filling my mind with someones else's thoughts besides my own? Never taking time to think deeply about life, it's meaning, it's beauty, and it's miracles. I have found myself overwhelmed with anxiousness at times and now, thinking about it, it is extremely embarrassing that I could work myself into such a mess. It is obvious to me that taking just a moment to enjoy the little, simple things of life can create peace. What's worse is thinking about all the small communications I am missing with my Father in Heaven. I used to feel such love and grace from my Heavenly Father so easily. It would flow into my heart and mind so strongly that it would leave me overwhelmed with gratitude and joy.
What have I done?
I find peace and solace in the reality of change. In the reality of a living Savior who beckons me in my worst and my best to follow him and to become like him. I find hope in the reality of his sacrifice. That through his boundless love I can love myself and those who have been placed around me. I cannot afford to lose myself to this world. I cannot afford to merely drift in and out of my life never allowing my spirit to reign freely.
Be still, my soul.
