In Honor of Valentine's Day

Because I know I'm not going to have time later this week I wanted to write today, in honor of Valentine's Day. 

This...

is my sweet husband. As you can see, displayed in these pictures, he is pretty adorable. Lately, I have been having these moments where it feels like reality punches me in the face and it hits me that I am married to the man that I have loved and adored for years. He is mine forever.

What?? How did that happen? Getting married was a whirlwind for me. So much was going on at once that I couldn't keep up with everything that was happening. Now that our lives have slowed down a bit I am really able to soak in the beauty of it all. 

Last thing. One of my very favorite quotes about love is from Gordon B. Hinckley. What better man to talk about love right? How he adored his wife! Anyway, the quote is, "True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion." I think this is so sweet and so true. 

I hope everyone's Valentine's day is full of sweet, sappy love! 

Happy Valentine's Day! 

The Joys of Marriage

Okay, so I should totally be doing homework, but I just have so much on my mind that I want to get out.

I love my husband. Getting married has probably been one of the most humbling experiences. Not to say that Mckay is always telling me I'm wrong or something, it is more about accepting someone's love. It is like the feeling when you ponder the atonement. --Okay, obviously not quite as intense, but it's the same type of feeling. There is no real reason why Mckay should love me. I try to be a good wife by cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, making lunches, getting ready, giving hugs and kisses, but these really aren't reasons for Mckay to give me his heart. I would say this is the best thing about being married. Selflessly loving someone else and being selflessly loved. It is humbling and fulfilling. 

God's plan, The Plan of Salvation, is truly the plan of happiness. You know, every girl I know dreams about when they get married. The wedding industry is huge now and Pinterest makes it easy to plan, fantasize, and obsess about every detail of one day. And not even just one day, but your whole life --travel, food, house, hair, body, etc. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, but I have found it pretty distracting. Distracting from what really makes marriage wonderful, beautiful, and rewarding. A couple of things, I am not dissing on Pinterest. Pinterest is great. My account is active and checked regularly. Also, I am not claiming to know everything about marriage. Ha! I have been married for a little less than a month. But, having just recently been "single" and dreaming about my wedding day all the expectations and anticipations are still pretty fresh. 

Planning my life and future on Pinterest is fun and I think if in moderation, healthy, but it is NOTHING compared to the joy and peace and love that I feel just day to day, living, sharing, and sacrificing for someone I love. It is NOTHING compared to the feeling of going to the temple with Mckay and knowing that through the Gospel of Jesus Christ I will be together forever with him, that our love will never end, but just grow deeper with every day. It is NOTHING compared to laughing, teasing, flirting, crying, worshiping, and working with Mckay. 

No amount of searching on Pinterest, sitting in Marriage Prep classes, even studying the scriptures or Ensign's could have prepared me for the happiness I feel. 

I think, subconsciously, I believed that if I could just get married I would be happy and my problems would go away. But every bit of wisdom I have received from my sisters and close friends has been true. This feeling of happiness and love that I feel is a choice. A choice that I make every single day. It isn't a hard choice most of the time, but still a choice. There are still problems to solve and work through. Life is still life and choosing to love it and be happy are still choices I have to make. 

Oh how I wish I would have had a better handle on that when I was single. Oh how I wish I would have enjoyed more that time and let go of all the pressure I put on myself. The Lord has every intention of helping his children be happy and feel loved in every stage of their life. 

Please, love yourself a little more. Enjoy each moment, each phase in your life. Your Father in Heaven has a plan and a purpose for each moment in your life. Believe that He loves you. Thank Him endlessly. And be happy. 

Wedding pictures soon to be coming!!! :) 

Prayers

There are 17 short days until I marry the man of my dreams. Literally. 

I remember one particularly hard day while I was going to Dixie in St. George I drove to the temple and sat in my car. I started praying and everything just started to pour out of me. I said out loud my deepest desires. I talked about wanting to be a wife and a mother. Not just a wife and a mother though, a righteous and awesome wife and mother. I talked about the talents that I wanted to develop, the kind of love that I wanted to experience in my marriage relationship, and my deep desire to just do what is right. I remember pausing for a while to catch my breath. My thoughts turned to Mckay. At this time he had been out on his mission for less than a year. Feeling a little sheepish, I told Heavenly Father that if it was at all possible, I wanted all of these things with Mckay. I wanted Mckay to be the one that I devoted all my time and energy to and to live out the gospel plan with. I knew at that time it was extremely silly of me. Especially since I knew better than most that waiting and loving a missionary is not the healthiest or the best idea, but it was truly what I wanted so I told Heavenly Father. 

I don't write this to be mushy, but to simply be a witness that God hears and answers prayers and he always leads you to where you need to be. Even when you make mistakes and when you don't have any clue what you are doing. 

I watched my sisters who are 15, 13, and 6 years older than me go through this time of life and navigate their way pretty well. Their lives have been guides to me as I have tried to find my own way. Even with their help I have felt lost much of the time and made many mistakes. Even up to this point in my life I feel there is no explanation of how I got here, but that God led me here. 

With all these changes happening in my life so soon I cling to this truth. God hears and answers prayers and always leads you to where you need to be. 

Please Come Sooner

50 Days

You know, I thought that I was excited for Mckay to come home from his mission. I thought that that countdown would last forever and that he would never really come home. 

Okay, let's get real. Waiting to marry Mckay for eternity is 10x's everything I felt while he was on his mission. December 21st cannot come soon enough. I can't believe that in 50 days the hope that I have had for so long to marry Mckay is actually going to be fulfilled. 

He is so good. I can't help throughout the day expressing gratitude to my Heavenly Father for sending this diligent, compassionate, and loving man into my life 4 years ago. He won my heart with his clever determination when I was 18. Little did I know then that he would become my husband and I would actually get to adventure with him my whole life and into eternity. 

I am so excited!!!

We Have a God

I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude.

We have a God. He is our Father. He is perfect in every way. His love for us is truly immeasurable to our finite human minds. He sees us and is mindful of our desires, trials, weaknesses and pains. 

He provided a Savior for us. 

Because of this Savior I can do hard things. 

Elder Richard G. Scott said, "True, enduring happiness, with the accompanying strength, courage, and capacity to overcome the greatest difficulties, will come as you center your life in Jesus Christ." 

"If God be for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

I pray for strength for all of us in our own, personal, individual struggles. 

Endure. It is worth it. 

Golden Days

Life is so crazy right now! There are so many things that I need to do and even more things that I want to do. The weeks are going by so fast and the weekends are going by even faster! I look forward to the weekends when I can finally see Mckay and spend time with him. Being in school has been so amazing and so difficult. My classes this semester are...perfect. I don't know how else to explain them. My major is the best. I am so thankful for my professors and my classmates. They are all amazing examples to me and I learn so much from them. Trying to go to school and be engaged is quite possibly the hardest and most exhausting thing I have ever done, but it has such sweet moments. Mckay is a gem for dealing with all my stress and craziness. 

This weekend was so much fun. I have decided that every time Mckay comes down here I am going to have dinner waiting for him. This gives me a chance to practice cooking and a chance to prove to Mckay that he won't starve once we get married. Two weekends ago I made Bajio chicken and we had salads. This weekend I made fried chicken and mashed potatoes. I am awful at taking pictures or I would post pictures of the meals. I love having him walk in the door and feeding his empty stomach. Thankfully he has liked both meals. 

We made pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, went on a Halloween boat ride at Clas Ropes Course, went to the temple, went rock climbing with a bunch of friends, went to dinner, had dessert with my some of my girlfriends, and carved pumpkins. Mckay is pretty much a part of my ward. We are pretty sure he has attended my ward more than his own ward in Logan. I am trying to be patient as I wait for him to transfer down to BYU so we can actually live in the same place. 

Saturday was the perfect day to be outside. I am so thankful we were able to go rock climbing. It was so much fun. I got to meet Mckay's childhood friend Cody too. As we were finishing up climbing the sun started to set and it was the most amazing color. That golden orange/yellow is my favorite color. This is also my most favorite part of the day. The sun turns everything into gold. 

Every weekend Mckay and I become more excited to be married. I have felt fortunate that we both receive several confirmations that this is the right thing to do throughout the week and weekend. We feel the support of our Heavenly Father and our families. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life and eternity adventuring with Mckay.

54 Days!

Lindsey Loving

My very own Lindsey shirt!

Playing Headbandz with my niece and nephew. 

Beautiful Erin. Oh how we love her!

I am so blessed.

Papa Lindsey. The big tease. I swear he'll kill me with embarrassment!

Last Friday afternoon Mckay and I decided last minute to surprise Mckay's family and go down to St. George. We had such a great time cheering on his sisters Haley and Alise, and my brother-in-law Mark running the St. George Marathon. General Conference was fantastic and being with family was the best. We played games and talked. Mckay and I even got the chance to reminisce and go back to a fountain where his cleverness stole my heart. We started going through Mckay's baby pictures for our wedding video and we were both laughing uncontrollably at the crazy kid Mckay was. We also got to see Erin before she left for New York which was such a treat. Mckay's nieces and nephews were too cute! The twins Axel and Gage are just so precious. It was so fun to hold babies all weekend.

Since I have met the Lindsey's I have admired each of them and have loved spending time with them. There were several times this weekend when I felt overwhelmed by the blessings of family and the gospel. The Lindsey's are a fantastic family who lives the gospel and shares joy with all of those around them. I love them so much and I cannot wait to be a part of their family!

On the way back to Provo Mckay and I made a countdown on his phone for our wedding. 74 days left!!! I am so excited and cannot wait to officially be a Lindsey and marry the boy who's had my heart since our Senior year of high school.