Stoplights and Doors

Don't you just love that quote? This quote basically sums up my life right now. I am fighting off the fear of the unknown and trying to put my trust in the God I do know. 

Several years ago, I had a religious leader teach me about stoplights and personal revelation. He taught me that there are times when the Lord gives us a red light, telling us to stop and redirect. Other times he gives us green lights, telling us to charge forward. And sometimes the Lord gives us yellow lights. We talked about how usually at a yellow light you speed up so you can make it through that light, but that when the Lord gives us a yellow light it usually means to slow down, ponder, listen, and look around. This religious leader invited me to slow down, listen, and look for the doors that the Lord would be opening for me. 

I feel that same invitation again now in my life. I have no idea where it is going to lead, but I have a good feeling it's leading to greater happiness, understanding, and love.

Sending you love and encouragement to slow down, ponder, listen, and look on this beautiful Monday morning.

xoxo,
Joanie

Joanie's Journey - Obedience

So I follow The Small Seed and this month they have been talking about obedience. I have been reflecting on one of the questions in their study guide - how can obedience help you discover your true self?

This question piqued my interest because I have been searching for my "true self" for a long time, but I had never thought about it through the lens of obedience.

As you all know now, Mckay and I have been struggling to start our family. It has definitely not worked out the way we though it would. This experience has been difficult and has left me wondering about God's commandment - multiply and replenish the earth. Why would God give us good feelings about starting our family and then, from my limited perception, not follow through? Why, when we have been obedient, do we have to suffer so much? I understand the commandment and the blessings promised and am willing to sacrifice everything/anything to have a family, then why is God withholding this blessing from us?

I realize these questions sound like I am complaining, but these are sincere questions that I have. Not just for me, but for everyone trying to be obedient to God's commandment to have their family and having not work out how they imagined it would.

Unfortunately, I do not have all the answers to these questions, but I can see blessings that have come from the withholding. There are so many. Ones that I recognize, and others that I am sure that I am missing.

One that I do thankfully recognize is a little better understanding of obedience.

President Ezra Taft Benson said, "When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power."

Being withheld a family at this time has forced me to stop and think. It has given me a chance to ponder on the Gospel, my testimony, my desires, and my true self. It has made me evaluate and reevaluate my life and encouraged me to align my life with all of God's commandments in order to be more prepared for the blessings that are in store. It has led me to make obedience my quest and in return I have felt the power of God in my life.

Oddly enough, being withheld a family has led me to obedience which has truly shown me who I really am. As I have tried to be obedient God has shown me gifts and abilities that he has given me. He has shown me my faith and given me more confidence in who I really am. He has given me glimpses of who he is trying to turn me into and what he sees in me. Little by little, through my faith and obedience, he is giving me power to overcome -- to become what he sees in me.

1 Nephi 17:3 - And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness.

This is only the beginning. My obedience has yet to be like Abraham, Nephi, or Esther, but as I bind myself to God with each act of obedience, I can have power to overcome and be qualified for his kingdom.

- Just a small note. Thank you Small Seed for your inspirational and uplifting posts!

xoxo,
Joanie

Glow

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”

Lately this quote has been on my mind. What an incredible woman! There is truly power in being a woman of God and Marjorie Pay Hinckley magnified that womanhood. As each year passes I feel like I am learning more and more what being a woman means. It is truly a partnership with God. We cannot bring about the good we crave unless we have partnered with him. Womanhood has a hollow meaning unless it is partnered with God. He gives woman their glow and influence. I see it in all the woman around me that I ache so much to be like. There is an adoration and a beauty that emits from their countenance. It has nothing to do with clothes, body image, hair, cars, etc. It is a glow from within that comes from a pure heart.

From where I stand I still have so much to learn and experience to be crowned with the kind of glow that Sister Hinckley emitted. But I'm going to try to take the advice of this amazing woman...“We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.” 

These words speak peace to me. We are all on a journey. One day when my journey ends I hope I have the glow of a woman of God.