Stoplights and Doors

Don't you just love that quote? This quote basically sums up my life right now. I am fighting off the fear of the unknown and trying to put my trust in the God I do know. 

Several years ago, I had a religious leader teach me about stoplights and personal revelation. He taught me that there are times when the Lord gives us a red light, telling us to stop and redirect. Other times he gives us green lights, telling us to charge forward. And sometimes the Lord gives us yellow lights. We talked about how usually at a yellow light you speed up so you can make it through that light, but that when the Lord gives us a yellow light it usually means to slow down, ponder, listen, and look around. This religious leader invited me to slow down, listen, and look for the doors that the Lord would be opening for me. 

I feel that same invitation again now in my life. I have no idea where it is going to lead, but I have a good feeling it's leading to greater happiness, understanding, and love.

Sending you love and encouragement to slow down, ponder, listen, and look on this beautiful Monday morning.

xoxo,
Joanie

Romantic Getaway: We love our National Parks

Last November, my work asked me if I would be willing to go down to attend a business conference and represent our program in Moab, UT.

Um, yeah!

Luckily for me, this landed right near my birthday. So when Mckay asked what I wanted for my birthday I told him that I wanted him to come with me. Neither of us had ever been to Moab, but taking time off was a sacrifice for Mckay because it would mean that he would miss school and work (I'm pretty sure this was only the 2nd time Mckay ever skipped school). He agreed and we took off.

From Logan to Moab is quite the drive. Also, as a side note, I am the worst car travel partner. Something about cars makes me fall right asleep. We got to Moab just as the sun was setting. It was a dream. Since Mckay and I both grew up in beautiful Southern Utah we were swooning over the red cliffs. Pure sunshine, blue sky, and red rocks. A combination to burst your heart!

That evening we ate dinner at a cute little Italian restaurant, Pasta Jay's, and enjoyed our hotel's hot tub. November is off-season for Moab so it is really only the locals there. We were able to enjoy the hot tub all to ourselves.

The next morning I attended the business conference and presented on our program. Following the conference we hopped in our car and headed for Arches National Park.

Wow. What a park.

Of course, we knew we had to make it to the Delicate Arch. What a magnificent showcase of nature. It's kind of fun, right before you make it to the delicate arch you see a cute little hole in the rock (above). Little did I know that the delicate arch was right there, on the other side of this wall of rock. We got up to the hole and heard music. I was so confused for a minute. There was a group of people who had brought their guitar and was playing and singing. The sound carried against this rock wall giving it a beautiful sound. It gave our visit such a cool, earthy vibe. Ha! 

It was amazing to go up close and marvel at such a beautiful piece of earth. It was hard to get closer to the arch because there were so many people who were trying to take pictures without strangers in their pictures, but we found a few spots where we could snap some photos.

We had a little bit of daylight left after coming back from the delicate arch so we decided to visit one more arch. This is the Landscape Arch. It is humongous! On the plaque it said that it loses parts of the arch every year and eventually it would break. It breaks my heart to think that it would fall and we would lose such beautiful earth-made architecture. 

On our way back to our car the sun started setting and the combination of colors and light was just gorgeous. Another showcase of earth's beauty. None of my iPhone snapshots do this national park justice.

After studying Parks and Recreation my passion and love for national and state parks has grown. I am filled with gratitude for the people in history who fought to preserve parts of our country that we can go to, connect with nature, feel peace, and contemplate on the majesty of the world we live on.

I am certainly grateful we were able to visit this jewel in the desert. It made for such a romantic getaway. I highly recommend it.

xoxo,
Joanie

Squire & Company

The Lindsey family has some exciting news to share!

Mckay starts his new job today! He was offered a Tax position at Squire & Company in October. We could not be more excited about joining this firm! Squire has been in our sights for a while now. About two years ago Mckay found out about them through his current job and ever since felt like they would be a great firm to work for. After going through school and learning more about what he likes about accounting and what he doesn't, Squire looked even more attractive.

Going into this recruiting season he was really set on Squire. So much so, that he didn't apply to anywhere else. This about gave me a heart attack. The morning of Squire's networking event it hit me that there were a lot of CPA firms coming to campus, but Mckay only applied to one. Holy smokes. Thankfully Squire liked him!

But how could they not?

When Mckay and I started hanging out in high school I knew there was something special about him. He is humble, hardworking, honest, and true. True is the best word I can think of in my limited vocabulary. He fills my life with goodness and light. I had no idea life could be so full. It is a special privilege to share in his life and watch him start his career. It's an exciting time for sure!

The only downside to this deal is the fact that for the next several months I will see less and less of Mckay while Tax Season is in full swing. It's a good thing I have lots of projects and ideas for all this free time I'll have.

Here's a random picture of us this fall during recruiting season.

Joanie's Journey - Obedience

So I follow The Small Seed and this month they have been talking about obedience. I have been reflecting on one of the questions in their study guide - how can obedience help you discover your true self?

This question piqued my interest because I have been searching for my "true self" for a long time, but I had never thought about it through the lens of obedience.

As you all know now, Mckay and I have been struggling to start our family. It has definitely not worked out the way we though it would. This experience has been difficult and has left me wondering about God's commandment - multiply and replenish the earth. Why would God give us good feelings about starting our family and then, from my limited perception, not follow through? Why, when we have been obedient, do we have to suffer so much? I understand the commandment and the blessings promised and am willing to sacrifice everything/anything to have a family, then why is God withholding this blessing from us?

I realize these questions sound like I am complaining, but these are sincere questions that I have. Not just for me, but for everyone trying to be obedient to God's commandment to have their family and having not work out how they imagined it would.

Unfortunately, I do not have all the answers to these questions, but I can see blessings that have come from the withholding. There are so many. Ones that I recognize, and others that I am sure that I am missing.

One that I do thankfully recognize is a little better understanding of obedience.

President Ezra Taft Benson said, "When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power."

Being withheld a family at this time has forced me to stop and think. It has given me a chance to ponder on the Gospel, my testimony, my desires, and my true self. It has made me evaluate and reevaluate my life and encouraged me to align my life with all of God's commandments in order to be more prepared for the blessings that are in store. It has led me to make obedience my quest and in return I have felt the power of God in my life.

Oddly enough, being withheld a family has led me to obedience which has truly shown me who I really am. As I have tried to be obedient God has shown me gifts and abilities that he has given me. He has shown me my faith and given me more confidence in who I really am. He has given me glimpses of who he is trying to turn me into and what he sees in me. Little by little, through my faith and obedience, he is giving me power to overcome -- to become what he sees in me.

1 Nephi 17:3 - And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness.

This is only the beginning. My obedience has yet to be like Abraham, Nephi, or Esther, but as I bind myself to God with each act of obedience, I can have power to overcome and be qualified for his kingdom.

- Just a small note. Thank you Small Seed for your inspirational and uplifting posts!

xoxo,
Joanie

The Ache of a Hopeful Mother

Two miscarriages.
Period, after period, after period.
Never
Ending
Aching.

Hoping against hope.
Fighting bitterness.
God, can you hear me?
Are your promises real?

People have different paths,
timing,
and missions.
Self-doubt.

Surrounded by darkness,
silence,
fear.
Heaviness, like a
weight in my chest.
Burning eyes,
throat,
heart.

"Trust me. 
I'm here."

Peace.

Next month.

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I had no idea. I had no idea the pain, heaviness, and aching trying to have a family could bring. So many women deal with tragic loss and I had no idea. I cringe at the thought that my ignorance could have caused another woman to ache with pain.

This is such a personal thing. The vulnerable and insecure piece of me fights against my true self to share these feelings. Although, if even one person feels peace knowing that they are not alone I would share in their peace.

In moments of weakness I find myself wondering why this is happening to me. So many women have no trouble at all getting pregnant and staying pregnant. God knows best. He did not promise a life of only happiness, but instead provided a friend, companion, and savior to know perfectly our sorrow and knows perfectly how to succor us. He counsels,

"Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days."

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

There is peace that passes all understanding. It is found in Him.

xoxo,
Joanie

The Last Events of Summer

I love fall. 

Everything is rich and the air buzzes with new beginnings. 

School starts in two weeks and my head is reeling that summer flew by so quickly. That is actually one of the reasons I love fall too. Currently I am not going back to school, but I work at USU and our students come back and I couldn't be more excited. They bring variety and life to my job. 

I don't actually think I have talked about my job very much. I am a Program Coordinator for the Master of Human Resource Program. Fall is an exciting time for our students. We admit a new cohort for fall each year so we have new students coming and then what we call our "second years," they are coming back from their summer internships. Our new cohort has been preparing all summer for HR recruiting season that starts the first week of school. Our second years are anticipating job offers from their summer internships. There is definitely a buzz around our office. 

Besides our students coming, I am excited for pumpkin treats, the leaves changing, and fall clothes! Since I have lived in cold places for so long my wardrobe has transformed into a lot of sweaters and jeans. Scarves. I absolutely love scarves. If you ever need a gift idea for me I love scarves. 

Anyway, Mckay and I are wrapping up our summer. Last month had many adventures. Here are some highlights.

As mentioned previously Mckay and I stayed in the Anniversary Inn in Logan. Through a deal from staying there we were able to get a room booked for Jamie and Alyssa. So they came up to spend the weekend. We had so much fun. We floated the Oneida river and ate yummy food. We love when family comes to see us!


BEWARE: Overload of pictures from my trip to Wisconsin. This was an AMAZING trip. Unfortunately, Mckay couldn't come with me, but because my brother-in-law, Cody had a business trip the week I came it meant that we had a whole girl's week. Getting the chance to spend a whole week with my mom, sister, and her three beautiful daughters was a dream. The hardest part was coming home.

Maurie and Jane with the purses we brought them. It was so cute how they both knew exactly what to do with them. 

Brooklyn Jo - the perfect baby. She's a heart-melter.

One day we went to see the music in the park, but missed it by minutes. Instead we ended up going to a cute presentation at the library. The girls got to see frogs and turtles. This is a turtle shell that they got to see. Maurie was a little confused why grandma was putting this thing on her back. 

One afternoon during quiet time we tried our hand at some painting (via YouTube tutorial). We had some hearty laughs and our paintings didn't turn out too bad. 

Later that night Lucy got a babysitter and us adults went out to dinner by the fox river. Did I mention how beautiful Wisconsin is? There is nothing as healing and fulfilling to me as spending quality time with my family. 

We went to lake Michigan - huge! It could have passed as ocean. Sweet Maurie fell in the freezing water so we had to take off her cold swimmer. Funny thing about Maurie is she looks exactly like Lucy and I did when we were little. I love it!

Lucy's kids are these teeny petite things. I had to get a picture of Maurie's feet in her teeny sandals. Too cute!

I sat in the back of the van to all of our excursions. Most of the time I fell asleep with the kids, but on our way to Lake Winnebago I took some pictures with Jane and Maurie.

Our last night Lucy promised the girls that we could have a sleepover. This was our setup. I didn't make it the whole night, but the girls did. That night we did sugar scrubs on our hands and feet and then painted our nails. 

Before our flight left we had lunch at McDonalds and let the girls play in the play place. I got to hold Brooklyn while she slept. I love squishy baby loves!

On our flight home we saw some beautiful clouds!

Oh, this was from our trip to Lake Winnebago. I miss those girls so much. It's so hard living so far away, but I was grateful to spend a week with them.

Like I said before, it was actually the worst coming home. After being so busy helping take care of children it was a shock to come back to my slow paced, pretty self-centered life. Crossing our fingers that our turn for a family is coming soon. 

An embroidery I did for my friend. It turned out alright. 

Preston Rodeo! Our cute friends the Richards stuck out the rodeo with us. I LOVE rodeo's. The patriotism, cowboys/girls, and horses are a good combination for me.

Here comes the water works!!

I'm sad we didn't get a picture with Mom and Dad Lindsey and Reagan, but this was Haley's farewell. 

We got Haley's first letter this week. Oh man. Talk about a cutie. Her talk was incredible, she's incredible. I am so excited to hear more about her mission!

This is Mckay's last semester of school here at USU. He will be graduating with his MAcc in December. I am so excited for him. We have some plans in the works, but we won't know for certain about them until later in the semester. There are exciting things coming though. So stay tuned for an exciting Lindsey Family update. 

xoxo,

Joanie

Summer Update

Happy 4th of July!

I love this holiday. It is such an amazing time of year to celebrate our country and to remember the abundance we enjoy. 

God bless the USA!

Mckay and I had a lot of fun in the month of June. Some of the highlights were:

• I started a quilt, that I'm hoping to finish this next month.

• Hiking with our ward members - I really didn't appreciate Logan when I moved here, but I sure do love it now. 

• Seeing Newsies at the Capitol Theater in Salt Lake with my good friend Kylie.
• Participating in a murder mystery dinner with some friends.
• Visiting Alise in Yucaipa, Ca, and going to Newport Beach. Holy Moly, talk about gorgeous. It was so fun to spend time with the Lindsey's and get some sunshine too!

• The Thornton's, my sister Holly and her family, came to visit us in Logan and it was a blast. We had a BBQ, got snow cones, watched a movie in our backyard, played Frisbee golf and swam at the Logan Aquatic Center. 
• The last week of June we spoiled ourselves and stayed at the Anniversary Inn here in Logan. We planned a staycation and took half a break from our daily routine. 

At the Anniversary Inn they bring you breakfast in bed. Best. Ever.

Which reminds me. I have been trying to hammer down a daily routine. Talk about a toughy. It takes so much discipline to stick to a routine. Being in school for so long, where your schedule changes every semester, you move every other semester, and your responsibilities can change every semester, I never got in the habit of doing the same thing every day. It's not really my personality. I don't really like doing the same thing every day, but I know that consistency really makes your life easier. So that's what I'm trying to do. 

One last thing. Mckay and I read a book on our way to and from California last month. It is called How Will You Measure Your Life? By Clayton M. Christensen. Seriously, read it. It's so good! It was the perfect book for Mckay and I to read together. It is full of business principles that relate to your life. This was such a perfect time to read this book because Mckay and I are starting to formulate a plan. We are finally figuring out what we want to do. I say we, because even though it is really Mckay that is figuring out what he wants to do, I am very much affected by his decisions. Our futures are tied together. Yay!

I have high expectations for July and can't wait for the adventures planned!