A Miracle!

I want to share a short, but sweet experience I had yesterday. It may not seem that sweet to you, but it was to me. 

School is ending. Spring is here. I am ready to be done. For one of USU's university requirements I was enrolled in an Introduction to Christianity class. Cool right? No. Not cool. The only reason it isn't cool is because we have to write 3 page essays every other week. 3 pages, I know, it's not that bad, but it's the reading that makes it hard. My poor attention span is about the size of a peanut. So yesterday I sat down to write two of these little essays. 

I prayed and plead for Heavenly Father's help. I told myself I just have to get started. I can do this! Then, the spirit, the sweet, sweet spirit reminded me of a lesson I have learned several times in my life. In order for Heavenly Father to help us we first have to do our part. For example, to split the Red Sea Moses and the children of Israel had to take the first steps into the water. In order for a miracle to be produced we have to show our faith first. 

So last night, after this sweet reminder, I dove into my horrible essays and got them both done. At the end of the day Mckay was so impressed. He told me that he didn't think I would get even one done by this weekend (he knows me too well). I was actually surprised as well. 

God hears and answers our prayers. As we are worthy and seeking the spirit he will teach us and bring truths to our remembrance. Faith is more powerful than we can imagine. It can truly produce miracles, small and large. Like writing two 3 page essays.  

Blast From the Past

Last weekend Mckay and I went up to Rexburg for my brother-in-law, Cody's, graduation. It was an extremely needed break since Mckay and I were up to our ears in homework and studying. The graduation was long and boring, but the company was great. My niece adores Mckay and I adore them both! 

Jane is just the cutest thing. She's just as sassy as my sister! We can't wait to add another sassy girl to our family! Aaand we are so proud of Cody and his great accomplishment!

I took advantage of being home and took my boxes out and sorted through all my old junk. Some of it, of course, was things that made me wonder why I had kept on to it for so long, and others were no-brainers. 

It was interesting though. When we got back I went through all the old cards and notes I had. Some of them were from my 9th birthday which made me laugh that I held on to it until I was 22 years old! The best was finding thank you cards from my Young Women president, Grandma Casper. I sat there reading all of them, crying and once again feeling her love. She would send me a thank you card every time I would participate in anything and each one praised me for things that I didn't really deserve, but I felt so strongly the love that she had for me and I can honestly say that she changed my life. 

I moved to St. George when I was 13. I was so vulnerable and so insecure. I remember so well all the feelings that came from going to a new school, wanting to be liked, and desperate to find friends. Besides my own mother Grandma Casper taught me to love the gospel. She taught with the spirit and touched every single one of her young women's lives. I think that was the reason I knew that she loved me. Aside from her thank you cards that I am sure she wrote every girl, she showed affection for every single one of us. Our young women's doubled when she was the president because of her gift of love. Looking back now I can imagine what she thought when she was called. She was probably in her 60's and thinking I am way too old to be the young women's president. But she served faithfully and helped each one of us to come closer to our Heavenly Father and Savior. Oh, another thing about her thank you cards, they didn't stop when she was released as the Young Women's president or when I graduated and went off to college. I found a birthday card that she sent me when I was going to BYU-Idaho. Last year Grandma Casper passed away. It was a surprise to me. I don't think she was sick for very long. While reading her thank you's oh how I wished I could get one of her hugs and tell her how much I love her and appreciate all the prayers and lessons and all the love she showered on me. Truly one of the greatest ladies I have ever met. 

Along with Grandma Capser's cards I found letters from my friends from California. They were ones that I received after I had moved. Man, they were so funny. I had forgotten what a diva and on occasion a brat I was. It's so funny the things that are important to you when you are 13. I found one particular letter from my best friend Taylor Pincin. I think it was a response to a letter I wrote her which I am sure was telling her how much I hated St. George and how much I wanted to go home to Redding and how I was a loser. But it was the sweetest and most encouraging letter. She just told me how special I was and how there was something about me that made people feel good. I am sure when I received that letter it made me feel really good, but little did she or I know that years and years later I would read that and again find strength and courage in her words. 

How grateful I am for the great people who have been in my life and for their influence and love. I am feeling so hopeful and excited about all the people I will meet now and in the future. What we can accomplish in people's lives with just a little bit of love!

"Go out into the world today and love the people you meet. Let your presence light new light in the hearts of people." - Mother Teresa (I really really like her!) 

Words and a Journey

I have this subtle passion/obsession with words. 
It's not the kind where I find obscure words and use them to impress people. 
It is this passion that burns when words come together to mean something beautiful. 
When words combine to express truth. 
The board that I most commonly pin to is my "Wise Words."

When this passion burns I feel a deep desire to create;
to structure words together to move someone. 
It makes me regret all the chances I passed up to become a better writer. 
How many English teachers did I have going through public school??

Over the past couple of months I have had a deeper desire to create. I want to create something wonderful. All over the internet, pretty much everywhere, I see all kinds of talented women creating the most beautiful things, from artsy crafts, to beautiful homes, to beautiful babies! I just have a desire to create something beautiful! 

This has all led me to this deep reflection. 
I have been mulling over it for quite a while now.
What are my talents?
What can I contribute to the world, to make it a more beautiful place?

I don't know yet.

At first, when I started thinking about these things, I felt impatient and kind of discouraged. 
Gradually, I have come to the realization that for me personally, I don't know what it is that I can contribute to the world. 
It has motivated me to be more proactive in finding my talents and seeking for the gifts that God has blessed me with. 

So. The moral of the story is that I am on a journey.
A journey to find my passions, talents, and gifts. 
And words is one of my passions. 

A Little Dose of Gratitude

Today I am grateful for my family. 

Adell Simmons, not pictured here, is included in this gratitude.

These people make me extremely happy. 

I am richly blessed.

In Honor of Valentine's Day

Because I know I'm not going to have time later this week I wanted to write today, in honor of Valentine's Day. 

This...

is my sweet husband. As you can see, displayed in these pictures, he is pretty adorable. Lately, I have been having these moments where it feels like reality punches me in the face and it hits me that I am married to the man that I have loved and adored for years. He is mine forever.

What?? How did that happen? Getting married was a whirlwind for me. So much was going on at once that I couldn't keep up with everything that was happening. Now that our lives have slowed down a bit I am really able to soak in the beauty of it all. 

Last thing. One of my very favorite quotes about love is from Gordon B. Hinckley. What better man to talk about love right? How he adored his wife! Anyway, the quote is, "True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion." I think this is so sweet and so true. 

I hope everyone's Valentine's day is full of sweet, sappy love! 

Happy Valentine's Day! 

The Joys of Marriage

Okay, so I should totally be doing homework, but I just have so much on my mind that I want to get out.

I love my husband. Getting married has probably been one of the most humbling experiences. Not to say that Mckay is always telling me I'm wrong or something, it is more about accepting someone's love. It is like the feeling when you ponder the atonement. --Okay, obviously not quite as intense, but it's the same type of feeling. There is no real reason why Mckay should love me. I try to be a good wife by cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, making lunches, getting ready, giving hugs and kisses, but these really aren't reasons for Mckay to give me his heart. I would say this is the best thing about being married. Selflessly loving someone else and being selflessly loved. It is humbling and fulfilling. 

God's plan, The Plan of Salvation, is truly the plan of happiness. You know, every girl I know dreams about when they get married. The wedding industry is huge now and Pinterest makes it easy to plan, fantasize, and obsess about every detail of one day. And not even just one day, but your whole life --travel, food, house, hair, body, etc. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, but I have found it pretty distracting. Distracting from what really makes marriage wonderful, beautiful, and rewarding. A couple of things, I am not dissing on Pinterest. Pinterest is great. My account is active and checked regularly. Also, I am not claiming to know everything about marriage. Ha! I have been married for a little less than a month. But, having just recently been "single" and dreaming about my wedding day all the expectations and anticipations are still pretty fresh. 

Planning my life and future on Pinterest is fun and I think if in moderation, healthy, but it is NOTHING compared to the joy and peace and love that I feel just day to day, living, sharing, and sacrificing for someone I love. It is NOTHING compared to the feeling of going to the temple with Mckay and knowing that through the Gospel of Jesus Christ I will be together forever with him, that our love will never end, but just grow deeper with every day. It is NOTHING compared to laughing, teasing, flirting, crying, worshiping, and working with Mckay. 

No amount of searching on Pinterest, sitting in Marriage Prep classes, even studying the scriptures or Ensign's could have prepared me for the happiness I feel. 

I think, subconsciously, I believed that if I could just get married I would be happy and my problems would go away. But every bit of wisdom I have received from my sisters and close friends has been true. This feeling of happiness and love that I feel is a choice. A choice that I make every single day. It isn't a hard choice most of the time, but still a choice. There are still problems to solve and work through. Life is still life and choosing to love it and be happy are still choices I have to make. 

Oh how I wish I would have had a better handle on that when I was single. Oh how I wish I would have enjoyed more that time and let go of all the pressure I put on myself. The Lord has every intention of helping his children be happy and feel loved in every stage of their life. 

Please, love yourself a little more. Enjoy each moment, each phase in your life. Your Father in Heaven has a plan and a purpose for each moment in your life. Believe that He loves you. Thank Him endlessly. And be happy. 

Wedding pictures soon to be coming!!! :) 

Prayers

There are 17 short days until I marry the man of my dreams. Literally. 

I remember one particularly hard day while I was going to Dixie in St. George I drove to the temple and sat in my car. I started praying and everything just started to pour out of me. I said out loud my deepest desires. I talked about wanting to be a wife and a mother. Not just a wife and a mother though, a righteous and awesome wife and mother. I talked about the talents that I wanted to develop, the kind of love that I wanted to experience in my marriage relationship, and my deep desire to just do what is right. I remember pausing for a while to catch my breath. My thoughts turned to Mckay. At this time he had been out on his mission for less than a year. Feeling a little sheepish, I told Heavenly Father that if it was at all possible, I wanted all of these things with Mckay. I wanted Mckay to be the one that I devoted all my time and energy to and to live out the gospel plan with. I knew at that time it was extremely silly of me. Especially since I knew better than most that waiting and loving a missionary is not the healthiest or the best idea, but it was truly what I wanted so I told Heavenly Father. 

I don't write this to be mushy, but to simply be a witness that God hears and answers prayers and he always leads you to where you need to be. Even when you make mistakes and when you don't have any clue what you are doing. 

I watched my sisters who are 15, 13, and 6 years older than me go through this time of life and navigate their way pretty well. Their lives have been guides to me as I have tried to find my own way. Even with their help I have felt lost much of the time and made many mistakes. Even up to this point in my life I feel there is no explanation of how I got here, but that God led me here. 

With all these changes happening in my life so soon I cling to this truth. God hears and answers prayers and always leads you to where you need to be.